


The Great Broventure

by toxicstardvst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, KageHina - Freeform, and memes, antics, i added dense teenagers to bring the funny idk, i have no real tags enjoy, in the name of offsetting all of this ANGST, it's a brofic, it's an adventure fic, literally just friendship, shennanigans, so i guess aged up, there's not really a plot?, they're out of high school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7133594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxicstardvst/pseuds/toxicstardvst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bro, what are y—ohhhhhh. That’s niiiiiice.” He sighed in mock bliss.</p><p>Akaashi should have been alarmed, and Kenma should have looked up from his 3DS, but neither of those things happened as Bokuto casually licked the salsa off of Kuroo’s hand without a care as to the cleanliness of the hand before salsa coverage or how it would look to others—and well the possibility of causing his bro a boner? That probably never even entered Bokuto’s mind, but Akaashi couldn’t be sure as an outsider and instead decided that he should disregard the situation in an effort to keep himself out of whatever situation Kuroo and Bokuto would inevitably get themselves into.</p><p>“Bro.” Kuroo attempted to warn Bokuto as he sucked down his pointer finger. It was fine when it was the palm of his hand, but sucking on his actual fingers? That could cause an actual awkward problem.</p><p>“Your dedication is admirable, but this salsa is like…congealing and honestly it’s kind of crusty.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Salsa Baby!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [konokomi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/konokomi/gifts).



> The Great Broventure is a collection of the best broments in the greatest bromance in history. These broments include a cast of characters, but focus on the friendship of Bokuto and Kuroo and the infinite stress they put on their quiet ex-setters, Kenma and Akaashi. It's a true bromance fic to fit all of your bro-needs and to help offset all of this bokuroo angst. Enjoy.

Kuroo stared down at his hand bewildered. _Why,_ you ask? 

Because his hand is completely covered in salsa. He _actually_ stuck his actual hand in actual salsa. You think that he would have had enough sense to put the salsa far enough away from his drink that it wouldn’t be a problem, but  _ no _ . No, he didn’t as evident by his salsa covered hand. 

A high whine ripped from his throat that caught the attention of the other occupants of the room: Kenma, who looked up with his signature disappointed-but-not-surprised look; Bokuto, who was currently laughing so hard his face was redder than the coke can Kuroo was attempting to drink from when his hand plunged full on into the poor salsa; and Akaashi, who just sighed and moved away from Bokuto’s loud laughter to sit with Kenma. He knew the signs of a broventure when he saw one, and this situation—salsa hands—well it was prime territory for a broventure and neither he nor Kenma had any interest in following along—or heaven forbid, actually joining in. It was a lazy Saturday and both Kenma and Akaashi were hopeful to keep it that way; Bokuto and Kuroo, on the other hand, clearly had different ideas as Bokuto walked over—his shoulders still shaking with the remnants of laughter—and took Kuroo’s hand by the wrist.

“Bro, what are y—ohhhhhh. That’s  _ niiiiiice _ .” He sighed in mock bliss.

Akaashi should have been alarmed, and Kenma should have looked up from his 3DS, but neither of those things happened as Bokuto casually licked the salsa off of Kuroo’s hand without a care as to the cleanliness of the hand before salsa coverage or how it would look to others—and well the possibility of causing his bro a boner? That probably never even entered Bokuto’s mind, but Akaashi couldn’t be sure as an outsider and instead decided that he should disregard the situation in an effort to keep himself out of whatever situation Kuroo and Bokuto would inevitably get themselves into.

“Bro.” Kuroo attempted to warn Bokuto as he sucked down his pointer finger. It was fine when it was the palm of his hand, but sucking on his actual fingers? That could cause an actual awkward problem.

“Your dedication is admirable, but this salsa is like… _ congealing  _ and honestly it’s kind of crusty.”

Bokuto popped his mouth off of his best bro’s finger and nodded solemnly. He could agree with that. It was sort of gross, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t done worse before. He shuddered at the thought of eating his little sister’s cooking ever again-- _ never again _ , he promised himself.

She had gotten this easy bake oven for her birthday, and so of course Koutarou—like the good big brother he was—ate her very first creations; unbeknownst to him, she had used dirt and bugs with sugar, sprinkles, and icing and effectively broken his trust by deceiving him with seemingly sweet and good treats that turned out to be exactly the opposite. _And all of that was kind of beside the point_ , but nothing could be as bad as those little cakes that tasted sweet on the way down and then turned sour in his stomach.

“Fair enough, bro. But the real question is, what are we gonna do? I’m so _bored_.”

It was Kuroo’s turn to nod solemnly in response to his bro’s question. He didn’t honestly know what they could do, and so he glanced over at Kenma. He shook his head. Clearly Akaashi and Kenma were out of the drawing for this weekend’s Great Broventure as they were cuddling together on the couch; Kenma was comfortably playing Animal Crossing and Akaashi was quietly commenting on the neighborhood as he rested his head on the other setter’s shoulder. It was going to be a quiet time around here so the only natural option was to go out. Staying in would only lead to an annoyed Kenma and an exasperated Akaashi and a bro cuddlefest of two which is a lonely and sad sight. Cuddlefests were better with more people, something well established by Kuroo when they all took up this apartment together. 

Not everyone understood the companionship the four of them sought out together; most assumed they were all dating or were couples rooming together, but that wasn’t it at all. They were all just friends, and that was probably one of the hardest things for people to accept because it was one of the most unexpected answers for some reason. Kuroo and Bokuto had ended up rooming together because well they were  _ bros _ , but when Kenma and Akaashi both graduated as well it surprised  _ everyone _ that the two quiet setters had taken up house with the rowdiest of the old volleyball circuit. The two had expressed great relief at being free of their overbearing captains, but clearly they missed them or would they all be living together? The answer is probably not, and the answer to Bokuto’s boredom was right outside their door about to knock excitedly. 

Kuroo groaned as Bokuto plopped down and gave him owl eyes--not puppy dog eyes because he was too wide-eyed and energetic for that but owl eyes, and of course Kuroo couldn’t resist so he got up as the knocking intensified as if the other person _could not_ wait to get inside their humble apartment. He reached for the handle with his salsa crusted hand and cringed; why had he not washed his hand yet? He heaved a sigh and pulled it open finding a vibrating Hinata at his door.

“Bokutoooo, your child is here. And he’s  _ literally _ vibrating. I’m gonna wash my hand. Come on in, dude, and you can just shut the door behind you. I’ve  _ gotta  _ get this salsa off of me. It’s been like thirty minutes…” He trailed off talking more to himself as he walked away to the kitchenette to clean his hands of salsa and residual Brokuto salvia.

Bokuto bounced off of the couch and spilled the remaining salsa all over the floor. There was a collective sigh from the setters on the loveseat, and it would have been fine with just a simple clean up needed if Bokuto hadn’t slipped and slid in the spilled salsa. _Why couldn’t things just be easy for us_ , Kenma wondered to himself as he tucked his feet onto the cushions sharing a knowing look with Akaashi.

Hinata of course was laughing at Bokuto who was pouting just  _ sitting _ in the salsa mess. Kuroo peered around the wall and snorted.

“At least I’m not the only one who sucks with salsa. However, bro, I am  _ not _ licking that salsa off of your ass.” 

This comment earned a wide smile from Bokuto who just looked at the styrofoam cup that once held the salsa and sighed. He had been defeated by a measly styrofoam cup of  _salsa_ , and for some reason it wasn't surprising to anyone in the room. He looked at Hinata who was still hovering near the door and groaned loudly deciding to make the situation as dramatic and fun as he could, after all what else did he have to do while he waited for Kuroo to bring him cleaning supplies to fix this mess.

“Hinaaaaataaaa, aren’t you going to help your dear old father out of the salsa splat? If you don’t I could fall and break a hip.” 

Kenma rolled his eyes at the poor attempt at an old man’s voice and sighed with Akaashi a moment later. He glanced over the top of the screen of his 3DS and gave one of his signature deadpan remarks.

“Shouyou still isn’t your son, Bokuto. If anything he’s Sawamura’s and Sugawara’s; they did all of the hard raising.” 

Done with his reality check, Kenma stuck his nose back into his handheld and ignored the soft squawking noise that came out of Bokuto. It was a pitiful noise of hurt, one that Hinata rushed to fix. He pulled the older man out of the now drying salsa and patted his shoulder as Kuroo approached with cleaning supplies.

“Kenma, you know that wasn’t necessary.” He shoved the supplies into Bokuto’s hands.

“Make cleaning magic happen, bro. We don’t want roaches. Hinata is definitely your child. Don’t listen to Kenma. He’s being sour because we’re being loud.” Bokuto nodded and began cleaning the pout lessening with the mess as Kuroo leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom watching while Hinata chattered away excitedly his hands gesturing as he spoke and the occasional jump punctuating his statements.

“I’m working this summer, Bokuto-san! At Ukai’s store and Kageyama has stopped being such a meanie butt so we’re gonna hang out. I never really figured out what was wrong when we fought at the end of school, but whatever it is it should be fine now. I don’t think I should ask him about it because he gets kind of angry and I don’t want to pry and make things work. It’s important that we get along to keep a good working relationship into next year. Kageyama is going to be the vice-captain and Yamaguchi is our captain! An--”

“Shouyou.” Kenma interrupted.

“Yeah, Kenma?” Hinata asked with a bounce.

“Did you have a reason in coming over here?” Hinata’s face lit up with realization.

“Oh yeah there was! I wanted to talk to Kuroo and Bokuto-san about--”

“You guys should do it over food _somewhere else_.” He suggested bluntly as Bokuto stood happy with the clean floor.

Akaashi gave a surprised laugh still not quite used to the bluntness of Kenma’s personality, but it was refreshing and he liked it. In fact, most people did which was probably why Kenma had so many friends even though he didn’t particularly like people or understand them. Of course, he liked his friends and company, but meeting people and dealing with them when they didn’t understand him? Kenma really preferred smaller and more intimate settings, but currently he wanted the rowdy people out of his apartment so he could play Animal Crossing and relax before his next assignment.

Kuroo had urged Bokuto into changing and was currently trying to decide where to go to get food because it was lunch time and food sounded  _ good _ . So far ramen had been turned down by Hinata and meat buns by Kuroo. It was only Bokuto’s shout that settled the debate that surely would have gone on much longer without intervention. 

“Let’s go to McDonald’s!” 

“Sound good to you, Shrimpy?” Hinata colored a little with anger.

“It’s not my fault you’re huge, and yes it sounds fine.” He grumbled more pouty than angry honestly. Hinata never was one to stay angry.

Bokuto busted out of the bedroom with gusto and a flourish. He spun to show off that for once he was wearing something other than a muscle shirt and gym shorts. He decided to dress up since his child was here and donned a pair of well fitting jeans and a white and navy striped shirt. He even bothered to wear the Sperry’s that Oikawa encouraged him to buy their third year when he took Bokuto on a “transformation Tuesday” trip to the mall. Whatever that was supposed to be, Oikawa had said he failed and that Bokuto could not be “transformed.” Fortunately no one else thought he needed to be transformed and he did get these squishy comfy shoes out of it, so it wasn’t _all_ bad even though he was kind of upset at the time.

“I’m ready for my close up!” He sang out offkey and happy while Hinata snapped impromptu pictures of him modelling while Kuroo narrated the entire affair with typically model-eqsue things to say like: “Oh yes hold that pose!” or “C’mon give me more flair! More sass! More  _ something. _ You have to actually give me  _ something _ to work with here!” (There was a fake scoff and offense attempted on Bokuto's part here, but Kuroo saw straight through it and gave him a soft shove with an eye roll.)

They all  _ finally _ left the apartment giggling after their little theatrical display of modeling and Kenma couldn’t help but feel grateful that they were gone. Sure, he loved his friends, but there was just a time when he needed peace and quiet, and he would  _ never _ get any of it if Bokuto and Kuroo didn’t  _ get the fuck out _ of the apartment every once in awhile. 

He gave a sigh of relief. Broventures were his only time off of BoKuroo noise and nonsense. The very first Broventure happened because Kenma actually locked the duo out of the apartment and they went on their own adventure coming back with the police, something about how they were being loud and disorderly, but weren’t drunk and were just kids--”bros really” the younger police officer had supplied--on an adventure to stave off boredom. After they were safely escorted home and warned to stay home so they didn’t end up in the same situation again the two looked at each other and whispered:

“I guess you could say--”

“We totally went on--”

“A  _ broventure! _ ” They finished in tandem with one another in a secretive sort of voice that made Kenma laugh and Akaashi roll his eyes.

“Well, you guys should go on more “ _ broventures” _ because you’re killing us with your  _ boredom _ . We’re not here solely to entertain you two.” Akaashi chastised.

The two men nodded solemnly looking rightfully shamed by Akaashi for once and thus the broventure was borne. As Kenma closed his 3DS and dropped his head into Akaashi’s lap he was infinitely thankful for broventures even if he occasionally got dragged into one because he could spend this precious time with someone else who understood the importance of quiet and companionship and that it  _ didn’t _ require talking.

His eyes slid shut as Akaashi’s fingers slid into his dark brown roots and fanned out the strands slowly. Akaashi and Kenma may not go on broventures often, but they reap the benefits of a broventure and they enjoyed their time together. They could only hope that this broventure would end at Hinata’s house instead of theirs so they could continue to enjoy this until the next afternoon. Whether they would get that wish or not was questionable, but they would enjoy every  _ second _ they could get.


	2. Plight of the Sunflower Child Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's a goof at relationships and for some reason thinks Bokuto and Kuroo would know better? (Hint: They don't and trouble ensues, but nothing too painfully embarrassing happens yet.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Himawariko" means sunflower child. This is important because it's Bokuto's pet name for Hinata. "Himawari" means sunflower + "ko" means child. Hence the nickname.

_Kuroo had urged Bokuto into changing and was currently trying to decide where to go to get food because it was lunch time and food sounded good . So far ramen had been turned down by Hinata and meat buns by Kuroo. It was only Bokuto’s shout that settled the debate that surely would have gone on much longer without intervention._

_“Let’s go to McDonald’s!”_

_“Sound good to you, Shrimpy?” Hinata colored a little with anger._

_“It’s not my fault you’re huge, and yes it sounds fine.” He grumbled more pouty than angry honestly. Hinata never was one to stay angry._

* * *

The McDonald’s wasn’t far from Bokuto’s and Kuroo’s apartment which was good because it was _hot_ and Bokuto couldn’t remember why he had thought it was a good idea to wear actual clothes. His workout wear was so cool and breezy, but he looked nice. He did look nice, right…?

The walk thus far had been quiet without much commotion other than Hinata’s constant skipping and humming, but it was to be expected that his sunflower child would be _happy_ . If he wasn’t, well, Bokuto would worry and _that_ would worry Kuroo and that just wouldn’t be good. The two of them worrying were messes--and they were already kind of a mess so they didn’t need any more help.

“Bro…” Bokuto nudged Kuroo. Kuroo hummed in response.

“ _Bro_.” Kuroo looked up and nodded.

“What’s up?”

“Bro... Do I look good?” Kuroo stopped walking and grabbed his bro by the shoulders turning Bokuto to him. His hands situated on his shoulders, Kuroo began to praise him looking directly into his sad little peepers.

“ _Bro_ , of course you look good. I’d date you, bro. Why do you think we did the whole model bit? You look _fly_.” Bokuto still didn’t look convinced for some reason and so Kuroo paused for a moment looking around the street.

“Bro, anyone on this street would date you. Right, Shrimpy?” Hinata nodded enthusiastically.

“Definitely, Bokuto-san!” Bokuto stuck his bottom lip out in protest.

“You guys are my bro and my _child_ . You _have_ to tell me that. Maybe I should change my hairstyle… I think I’m gonna go home, bro.” He said dejectedly trying feebly to shrug out of the hold Kuroo had him in. Kuroo shook him a little.

“ _Bro,_ don’t be ridiculous. Shrimpy came all the way out here to see you, and he like wants to talk to us about something--” Kuroo would have continued, but the loud growling of Bokuto’s stomach cut him off.

“Bokuto-san, I think you’re just hungry. Let’s go eat. Come on! Maybe you’ll get hit on.”

* * *

 Hinata’s face was flushed a bright red while he fiddled with his fries and chewed up his words making it _almost_ impossible to understand what he was saying, but Kuroo had understood nonetheless and now there was nothing Hinata could do about what would come next.

“Shrimpy, _you came to us for romantic advice?_ ” Tetsurou whispered as though it were a scandalous secret. Koutarou lit up; his peepers back to their usual wonderful golden sparkly affection and his voice singing a light tease to Hinata.

“So who’s the lucky girrrrrl, Himawariko?” Hinata looked deep into his shake avoiding answering the question.

“ _Bro_ , it’s not a _girl_. He was talking about Kageyama. Remember?”

 _“Blueberry boy?”_ Tetsurou nodded seriously and Hinata snorted lightly at the nickname knowing instantly that Kageyama would hate it. Koutarou sighed.

“You just have to like the _dense_ ones don’t you, Himawariko?”

Hinata colored further at the excessive use of his pet name. He never really understood the whole sunflower thing, but he was definitely okay with being Bokuto’s child. He was like _UWAH_ at volleyball and he had cool hair and surely lots of experience with the ladies, so it made sense to ask Brokuroo their advice. After all he couldn’t very well go to Sugawara or Daichi because Kageyama was so close to them; it wouldn’t be a secret and wouldn’t really of any help to him. And even though Tobio wasn’t a girl he kind of acted like the girls in some shojo animes so it could work...right?

“Alright, well, does he seem interested in you?”

Kuroo cut through Shou’s deep thought and worry about coming to _these two_ for romantic advice. He scratched his head trying to picture a moment where Kageyama appeared to be interested in him. He couldn’t really think of one, but then again did he really know either? He sighed and shrugged.

“I have no idea. We’ve been getting along better since our second year, but nothing is really too clear? He hasn’t made any advances and no one has said anything, so I don’t think so?”

Tetsurou squinted at the small redhead; he could see the setter and the decoy doing well together--their personalities would balance well and while neither of them were particularly bright Tetsurou figured that was because Kageyama never actually tried. He rolled his eyes. Clearly he couldn’t tell if they liked each other like this, but he had somewhat of a plan. He only had to convince Shrimpy that it would be a good idea because Bokuto would honestly go along with pretty much anything Kuroo said considering he was the only one who at the cramped booth who had ever had a relationship thus far.

“Well, we’ll just have to do some recon to see if Kageyama likes you.”

“Recon…?” Hinata asked around his straw as he tilted his head and drank from his chocolate shake. Koutarou also perked up at the mention of the word unsure of just where Kuroo was trying to go with this plan.

“Yes, we have to see if Kageyama likes you since you don’t know and _obviously_ we can’t just ask him if he likes you. Next Saturday is my next day off. Make an arrangement to meet him at Mitsui Outlet because you want to go shopping. Instead we’ll kidnap him for a little while to talk to him and feel him out.”

Shouyou looked reluctant and rightfully so; this plan could go absolutely awry, but at the same time it seemed like his only chance because he _seriously_ couldn’t just _ask_ him. _That_ would be totally crazy, and he did trust Bokuto-san and Kuroo, but _should_ he? He sighed loudly.

“C’mon, Himawariko! There’s nothing to worry about. He knows both of us and it’s for _you_ after all. You did ask for our help; this is us offering to help. You could always figure it out on your own.” He said with mock disinterest and a shrug.

Hinata, predictably, panicked and rushed to accept the offer put out on the semi-clean table of the McDonald’s. He wasn’t too sure how well it would work out, but he could hope for the best.

“Okay! _Okay_ . I accept. Just _please_ don’t ruin this. I really like Tobio…” He murmured playing with the browned end of a floppy french fry.

Kuroo snorted and puffed out his chest nudging Hinata’s leg under the table so he would look up at him. Kuroo was the _best_ at relationships...kind of. Look, it couldn’t go worse than his last relationship.

“Please, Shrimpy, have some faith. I’ll get your blueberry prince for you. No worries. You’ll live happily ever after. In the meantime, give me your skype contact and make a group for the four of us.” Hinata flushed lightly.

“O-Okay…” Tetsurou squinted at him.

“Are you embarrassed of your username or something, Shrimpy?” Hinata scoffed.

“N-No! It’s… It’s _sunshineprincess_.” He mumbled.

“What was that now, Hinata?”

“SUNSHINEPRINCESS!” He shouted with tomato-y red cheeks--at first from frustration and a second later from embarrassment especially as the few occupants of the restaurant turned to look at them. Tetsurou burst out in laughter only worsening the dirty looks they were getting, but of course he didn’t really care nor did Bokuto. So Hinata resolved himself to getting over it.

“ _Dude,_ what even?” Hinata huffed.

“My little sister picked it out, okay! She submitted it before I could change it…” He said dejectedly picking apart the fry in his hands.

“ _Bro!_ ” Bokuto scolded before he reached across the table and gave Hinata’s hand a squeeze.

“It’s cool, Himawariko. Mine is _moonlighthoots._ Kuroo’s isn’t much better _catsuroucaptor_.” Koutarou elbowed Kuroo as he shrugged lightly.

“What can I say? I was once obsessed with both Homestuck and cats. But I _am_ sorry for laughing at you, Shrimpy. It’s actually pretty sweet of you to let your baby sister pick things for you.” Hinata nodded placated by the simple apology.

Koutarou had his phone out and added Shouyou to his contacts before creating a new group entitled “operation blueberry” with the three at the table. They split with the intention of adding Kageyama to the group after they renamed it, but that was something for later because Natsu’s ballet class was over and it was time for him to pick her up from the studio and do some grocery shopping for their mother.

The broventure would continue soon and that was enough to placate Bokuto and Kuroo.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to AJ and Beanarino who both helped me to believe in myself and encouraged me to keep writing this beautiful trash fic. Also shoutout to Graceroni for wanting to love my trash fic even if I didn't want to love it. Everyone in the chat is great and I hope you love the beginning of your fic Marie! It's largely inspired by your writing style and my love of it, so I thought I would try it out too. You guys are the best~ Thank you for supporting me through my lame writer's block crisis. Drop me a comment if you have an idea for their antics around town or have a special request about something that should happen in the future. I aim to please!


End file.
